The Wonders of Entrepreneurship

I hate being mad at myself. It's awful. Right now I am mad at myself for choosing a module I'm finding really hard. I thought I was doing well and I was enjoying it until I got my mid-term grade back. That's the worst, when you've worked hard and you're proud of yourself and then DOOM! not such a good grade. I used to be a legal secretary and I know all this law stuff, or at least I thought I did. I'm so unmotivated now; I'm making the effort, but I'm scared that it won't be enough again. What happens then? I'm such a kid, being scared upsets me a lot.

This situation reminds me of a bit of a song from Jesus Christ Superstar, called Gethsemane. It goes like this:

"Then, I was inspired
Now, I'm sad and tired
Listen, surely I've exceeded expectations
Tried for three years, seems like thirty
Could you ask as much from any other man?"

Random, I know, but that's how I feel.

Anyway, time to go back to the studies. I hate law, it was made to be broken, not analyzed - like Shakespeare. Read and enjoy, don't analyze. The whole attitude behind exams is obsolete. Life is simple, so why do people make it complicated for themselves? And more to the point, why do they complicate it for other people?

So I got up early(ish), completely shattered because my sleeping pattern went mad over the Easter holidays, got ready and was about to leave the house, but then decided to check my e-mails first. Ah-ha! E-mail from Paula Ferrington, lecture's been cancelled. The first thing I did was phone my friend Rachel and let her know. Then I decided to use the free time to do some revision; and then I had to go to town to find a dress for a wedding I'm going to in two weeks. It was impossible - they're either too expensive for my student budget, or they look like the 70s vomited all over them - seriously, what's with all the horrible patterns, silky textures and unflattering shapes? The world's gone mad.

Also, I became a victim of my own clan, i.e. marketeers, and bought lots of goodies because they looked pretty. To be fair, I did need them, but I'm so glad they look pretty; it makes me feel girly and fabulous.

Get well soon Jimmy!

Since I started my course, I've been paying more attention to advertising details, such as packaging and how it makes things look so much more appealing. Most of the time the product inside the pretty package isn't very good, but in some cases it is just as good as it looks. For example, Benefit make-up, Thorntons' chocolates and cookies and cream vodka, which actually reminds me of a funny conversation I had with my boyfriend last week...

Me: This bottle looks so pretty, it kinda compliments the drink.
Mike: You're prettier, they should make bottles like you.
Me: Awwww that's so sweet.
*Mike ponders for a minute*
Me: What are you thinking about?
Mike: A 5' 2'' bottle of vodka.

And that reminds me, last night Mike was out with his mates and he mentioned to one of them, Phil Daley, that I'm doing an entrepreneurship module at uni. Apparently Mike also asked Phil if he knew my lecturer, and Phil said "Oh yeah I know Jimmy Hill!"

See, you're popular Jimmy. Such a small world!

I can see the appeal of having kids' cereal in the shape of things you find in the ocean, such as little stars, fish, etc., it's educational. But people?? I decided to eat my sister's cereal and noticed a bunch of little people, most of them legless (I'm guessing the fish are piranhas), swimming in the milk...

They taste lovely and they're packed with vitamins; but it's slightly weird. Maybe they're supposed to be mermaids. Either that or Steven Spielberg is now working for Kellogg's.

A few books down, lots more books and journals to go. I always wonder how much "theory from the literature" is enough, and try to restrict my opinion to a minimum because it's not usually received in a good way, so I just keep going until it sounds like I've read enough - and believe me, I have. More than enough, I'm a walking entrepreneurship encyclopedia. If only I actually bothered to put my ideas into practice, I'd be rich by now.

It's funny how little things can motivate you over night. Last night when I was trying to sleep, while trying to dodge horrible thoughts of work I have to do, I remembered something really sweet that my boyfriend said. He said I was pretty, funny and smart. That was it, it suddenly hit me - if I don't get on with the work, "smart" will no longer be a trait and "lazy" will replace it. Also, every time I'm getting dressed and I see my tattoo in the mirror (it says "alis volat propriis" - "she flies with her own wings"), it reminds me that I made a promise to myself that I'd never let anyone live my life, I'd always stand up for what I believe in. I believe I can achieve my goals, so no amount of entertainment, emotional scars, sun or cocktails will stop me from getting there. For the time being, anyway!

Funny, yes (although probably not in the most common sense of the word). Pretty, on occasion. Smart, most definitely.

One of my marketing teachers once said that blogs and diaries are usually kept by self-obsessed people, or indeed megalomaniacs. In my case, it's just that I prefer keeping my memories online than on a paper diary. Partly because I type faster than I write (and it looks nicer), but also because I hid my diary so well that I can't find it. The number of visitors on blogs has been increasing a lot over the past months, which proves that people like gossip, especially when it involves other people's misfortunes.

So that's why I chose to keep this diary online! Just thought I'd explain my choice, in case it made me look lazy. I'm not lazy, I'm just creative.

"You see things and you say, 'Why?', but I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'" - George Bernard Shaw

Good night.

Whenever I have exams or deadlines coming up I tend to start thinking about backup plans in case uni goes terribly wrong. I work really hard, but I think that's just a way of procrastinating - let's be honest, we all do it. My current backup plan is to be a crepe seller in Paris (I'd probably be my own best customer though). So I started thinking about how I could advertise my crepe empire and here's the best idea I came up with:

Rather fetching eh! But wait, there's more!

See, I was born to be a marketeer.

Courtesy of photobucket.com

Oh, and I found out this week, while eating and apple, which was later confirmed while out for a romantic meal with my other half, that I have Frey's syndrome. Now that's just what I needed before exam season! No amount of Mocha Mulattas, Morello Cherry and Vanilla Daiquiris, Martinis, or any other yummy cocktails can take away the emotional anguish I feel right now. And for once, sadly, I am not being sarcastic.

Until next time x

My motivation is non-existant a little bit scarce. I cannot wait for the summer holidays.

That'll be all for today.

Ok, so Jimmy mentioned this in the lecture and that we didn't really have time to map out our networking line in uni, but I do have time now so here's a little list of people I could use to get places:

*To start with, family and friends, they'll always be there for me

*Nuno Valente (Everton player, I was his children's interpreter for a while when they moved over here)

*My tattooists, they know me and the story behind all my tattoos

*The restaurant owners in The Italian Kitchen, Valparaiso and Algarve, all dad's mates

*My boyfriend works for the HMRC, and my dad's friend is a big boss there

*Portia, my hairdresser for many years, she always gives me a discount

*My bank manager, who keeps telling me I can't have a bigger overdraft - wise man.

*All the lawyers at JST Lawyers, I worked there and they'll get me out of trouble should I ever end up in court, which is highly unlikely since I'm such a nice person

*Lyndell W., I met her on a forum for people who had tumours on their parotid glands, she lives in California and would help me out if I needed anything while I was there

*My mom's great uncle was a very famous writer, I'm sure I can throw that in and it'll come in useful, in Portugal only though.

*And most recently, Fall Out Boy. I met them last night at their gig, so surely that counts!

That's about it for now, I'm sure I'll think of some more people and come back to update this.

I decided that, being Easter and having two weeks at home (working, not having fun as such!), I'd take the time to better myself - my own little rehab, if you will. So I got up, had breakfast and went for a walk in the park. Popped into the shop to get a magazine on the way, and the mail man stank of sweat. Carried on walking, got to the park entrance and there were two scary looking men walking out, and a mafia looking man shouting on his phone in a very threatening voice. Didn't see another soul, so carried on walking. Ah, the kids playground, guards nearby! Lovely, I thought, find a bench and sit down. First bench, there's a psycopath biting his nails like mental. Second bench, there's a tramp sleeping on it. Third bench, too close to these two weirdos. Next bench, covered in yoghurt. Next, seems ok, in the middle of the field with the sun shining. So I sat down, then a couple walked past with their two pitbulls, I could feel one of them staring at me but I made no eye contact. Ten minutes later the wind was so cold that I had to get up and walk again. Finally, near home, there were three pitbulls playing in the front yard and trying really hard to get out the gate, probably to eat me. This time I really thought it was the end of me, but thankfully I got home safe.

Clearly, students are meant to be fat and unhealthy and going against this will bring severe consequences.