The Wonders of Entrepreneurship

So we're coming to the end of another year at university. I'm really looking forward to a well earned rest over the summer and an opportunity to relax (and stop biting my nails, and regarding sleeping, sunbathing and reading girly websites as official productive activities). However, I also feel a little bit sad, for we are now moving onto the last stage of a journey that has changed our lives so much, in so many incredible ways.

So *holds glass of water up (I still have one more exam left...)* here's to us; the next tax-paying, work-hating, prozac-taking, colleague-cursing, ample-drinking, money-driven generation. Cheers!

All my love,

Monica

I'm trying really hard to concentrate but it's hard with a million other things playing in my head. And parents who take "please respect my privacy and let me study in peace" to mean "please open my bedroom door, come in, put your hand on my shoulder and give me a lecture about how important it is to eat fish at a critical time like this". It's funny how it took them four months to notice I didn't eat meat anymore, and a little longer to notice I've gone off fish as well.

Also, there's about three hairdressers on every street (make that five for Liverpool), how come none of them can do a decent job at cutting my bloody fringe?! Gaaaah!!!!!

On saturday I went to a wedding; it was a lovely night. The bride looked stunning, the place was very nicely decorated, everyone was having a good time and the newlyweds looked sooo happy, it was beautiful.

People spend so much money on this one special day. I don't have anything against that, and I think that when you look back you want to remember your wedding as an amazing day, so every penny is worth it. But I've never really wanted to have a traditional wedding, I'd rather get married on a beach with a few friends and family, and then have cocktails and canapés while dancing to live music in the moonlight and a fire. I've had this thought since I was a little girl - special, I know.

So I'm glad me and my boyfriend got completely smashed and confessed that we want to get married one day and, as it turns out, neither of us is keen on a church wedding. We have faith and beliefs and we're religious, but we think the church is fabricated.

I wish I could remember what else I said to him, hopefully nothing as bad as admitting that I'm allergic to cats, after having been around his cat for nearly six months. I love the kitty, what am I gonna do?! A little rash and an itch never hurt anyone.

Hope your bank holiday weekend was as good as mine, Jimmy.

I love shoes. I'll probably spend a lot of my earnings on shoes. With my first paycheck, I'm gonna buy a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. These are my new pair (before the last ones I bought):

Same height as a bottle of Yves Saint Laurent Cinema perfume:

Or a highlighter:

Or a Lancome Juicy Tube:

But higher than a whiskey flask! So surely, more productive, I think.

Sorry about the girlieness of this entry. These shoes are one of those things I mentioned previously that look good but are pure evil. And tomorrow, I will be wearing them all day. God help me.

I was reading a book earlier and saw this quote:

"There is a close relationship between the "haha" of humor and the "aha" of discovery."

Brilliant! It's things like that that make me laugh/keep me awake during revision.

I hate being mad at myself. It's awful. Right now I am mad at myself for choosing a module I'm finding really hard. I thought I was doing well and I was enjoying it until I got my mid-term grade back. That's the worst, when you've worked hard and you're proud of yourself and then DOOM! not such a good grade. I used to be a legal secretary and I know all this law stuff, or at least I thought I did. I'm so unmotivated now; I'm making the effort, but I'm scared that it won't be enough again. What happens then? I'm such a kid, being scared upsets me a lot.

This situation reminds me of a bit of a song from Jesus Christ Superstar, called Gethsemane. It goes like this:

"Then, I was inspired
Now, I'm sad and tired
Listen, surely I've exceeded expectations
Tried for three years, seems like thirty
Could you ask as much from any other man?"

Random, I know, but that's how I feel.

Anyway, time to go back to the studies. I hate law, it was made to be broken, not analyzed - like Shakespeare. Read and enjoy, don't analyze. The whole attitude behind exams is obsolete. Life is simple, so why do people make it complicated for themselves? And more to the point, why do they complicate it for other people?

So I got up early(ish), completely shattered because my sleeping pattern went mad over the Easter holidays, got ready and was about to leave the house, but then decided to check my e-mails first. Ah-ha! E-mail from Paula Ferrington, lecture's been cancelled. The first thing I did was phone my friend Rachel and let her know. Then I decided to use the free time to do some revision; and then I had to go to town to find a dress for a wedding I'm going to in two weeks. It was impossible - they're either too expensive for my student budget, or they look like the 70s vomited all over them - seriously, what's with all the horrible patterns, silky textures and unflattering shapes? The world's gone mad.

Also, I became a victim of my own clan, i.e. marketeers, and bought lots of goodies because they looked pretty. To be fair, I did need them, but I'm so glad they look pretty; it makes me feel girly and fabulous.

Get well soon Jimmy!

Since I started my course, I've been paying more attention to advertising details, such as packaging and how it makes things look so much more appealing. Most of the time the product inside the pretty package isn't very good, but in some cases it is just as good as it looks. For example, Benefit make-up, Thorntons' chocolates and cookies and cream vodka, which actually reminds me of a funny conversation I had with my boyfriend last week...

Me: This bottle looks so pretty, it kinda compliments the drink.
Mike: You're prettier, they should make bottles like you.
Me: Awwww that's so sweet.
*Mike ponders for a minute*
Me: What are you thinking about?
Mike: A 5' 2'' bottle of vodka.

And that reminds me, last night Mike was out with his mates and he mentioned to one of them, Phil Daley, that I'm doing an entrepreneurship module at uni. Apparently Mike also asked Phil if he knew my lecturer, and Phil said "Oh yeah I know Jimmy Hill!"

See, you're popular Jimmy. Such a small world!

I can see the appeal of having kids' cereal in the shape of things you find in the ocean, such as little stars, fish, etc., it's educational. But people?? I decided to eat my sister's cereal and noticed a bunch of little people, most of them legless (I'm guessing the fish are piranhas), swimming in the milk...

They taste lovely and they're packed with vitamins; but it's slightly weird. Maybe they're supposed to be mermaids. Either that or Steven Spielberg is now working for Kellogg's.

A few books down, lots more books and journals to go. I always wonder how much "theory from the literature" is enough, and try to restrict my opinion to a minimum because it's not usually received in a good way, so I just keep going until it sounds like I've read enough - and believe me, I have. More than enough, I'm a walking entrepreneurship encyclopedia. If only I actually bothered to put my ideas into practice, I'd be rich by now.

It's funny how little things can motivate you over night. Last night when I was trying to sleep, while trying to dodge horrible thoughts of work I have to do, I remembered something really sweet that my boyfriend said. He said I was pretty, funny and smart. That was it, it suddenly hit me - if I don't get on with the work, "smart" will no longer be a trait and "lazy" will replace it. Also, every time I'm getting dressed and I see my tattoo in the mirror (it says "alis volat propriis" - "she flies with her own wings"), it reminds me that I made a promise to myself that I'd never let anyone live my life, I'd always stand up for what I believe in. I believe I can achieve my goals, so no amount of entertainment, emotional scars, sun or cocktails will stop me from getting there. For the time being, anyway!

Funny, yes (although probably not in the most common sense of the word). Pretty, on occasion. Smart, most definitely.